Who knew, that in achieving my childhood dream of becoming a horse owner, I would learn lasting truths that go far beyond riding.
1. As in life and work, riding involves ongoing learning
Interacting with a large animal teaches you to pay attention and communicate effectively so you can build a solid, safe, trusting relationship.
2. Override your natural instincts.
When leading a horse that doesn’t want to follow, use stealth, not strength. The natural reflex is to “lean and pull” but instead, move toward the horse while jerking the lead line. Similarly, in resolving relationship issues, move “toward” the person or situation rather than against.
3. Ask for what you want in ways it can be easily understood.
I often jokingly told my horse, “Do what I’m thinking—not what I’m asking!” Sometimes we hope someone will read our mind or take our hint, but being unclear is a setup for letdown.
4. Accept constructive feedback.
Riding lessons involve critique and adaptation, just as in life and work. If you receive valid feedback, listen carefully, stay silent, consider the truth in the words and adjust accordingly.
5. Instead of forcing an issue, find a way to work around it.
As in item 2, when resolving disagreements, think long term. Strive for the closest you can get to a win-win. Don’t cheat yourself or others for short-term satisfaction. Suck it up and take the high road.
6. Be a cooperative communicator.
It takes time and effort to build solid relationships. If you can be consistently patient, flexible and kind, chances are others will get into step with you because they have nothing to push against.
6. Change is necessary if you want to be effective.
You may never find yourself on the back of a horse, but every day you metaphorically ride out to meet your day. Keep improving. You probably can’t expect another person (or situation) to change for the better till you do.
