Does This Excuse Make My But Look Big?
Despite our potential, we human beings don’t always go for what we want. Whether prompted by fear, ambivalence or resistance, excuses keep us from changing. People say they want to be healthier, but they don’t find time to exercise or eat well. Others complain about a job, boss, bad marriage or other misfortune, but they stay. Maybe you are struggling with a predicament; to be consistent between your words and actions, keep your big but out of it.
I know I shouldn’t eat more ice cream, but I already feel fat so what the heck!
I’d love to see that movie but there’s no one to go with so I’ll miss it.
I’d like to know this person better, but I can’t bring myself to make the first move.
Defusing the Excusing
Some people abandon their dream of going back to school by focusing on why it can’t work. Just the thought of returning to a classroom can be intimidating, yet older students are more motivated and diligent than younger ones. School is only one example. Changing any situation involves risk and it’s tempting to project more possible failures than potential successes. Granted, factual threads are embedded in the fabric of a fib, and you must separate truth from fiction while planning your goals, dreams or aspirations.
What excuses might you be holding onto, and to what extent do they hold you back? Look for shreds of validity and falsity while visualizing your desired outcomes like a beacon. Compare the risk of change versus not changing. Reject deceitful excuses, de-escalate your scary stories and stay focused on your options.
The first time I moved as a single woman and had to set up my computer, printer and scanner on my own, I was sick with anxiety. While packing up, I made notes, took photos and color-coded cords. Despite my sweat and dread, everything worked! I cried with relief and pride.
When you tackle the unfamiliar, expect self-doubt. Like me, you might feel intimidated. Planning each step helps. Shove that big but out of the way by visioning desired results. Remember, when we make decisions based on fear, we often create the very outcome we were trying to avoid. You don’t know what you are capable of until you do it.
© 2025. Leslie Charles, Speech Coach, Speaker, Author, Funeral-life Celebrant. leslie@lesliecharles.com