If you ever had to work with someone you dislike I hope you handled yourself better than I did. It was my second job. Sharon and I were complete opposites; the only thing we had in common was mutual animosity. Sadly, we were good at fanning the flames but clueless at cooling our tempers.
I can’t help but shake my head as I write this, wondering how much work time we wasted spying, judging or venting. It felt satisfying to blame, resent or envy, but neither of us recognized the cost of carrying such a sizable load of unresolved issues.
A few years after leaving that job I started widening my world, signing up for workshops and absorbing advice from self-improvement experts. After reading piles of self-help books and setting some new goals, I launched my speaking business. One of my early clients, Farm Bureau, booked me for a Secretaries Day Conference. It didn’t take long to spot a familiar face in the audience, triggering a flood of memories.
There sat Sharon, toward the back of the room, giving me an opportunity to make amends. During the break, I (now a kinder, gentler person) approached Sharon, offering her an apology and a copy of my first book as a gift.
She drew herself back, face contorting with indignation as she spat, “WHAT qualifies YOU to do THIS?” It appeared Sharon was stuck in the past, unable to grasp that when you doggedly hold onto negatives you have less room to spare for the positive.
We all have our personal histories, stockpiles of lessons that helped us learn, let go and grow. If we ignore our lessons, emotional “lesions” form, festering and swelling, crowding our capacity for holding joy, forgiveness and more.
Let’s hope Sharon learned to release old hurts. There is value in exploring the negative feelings we hold onto and letting them go, for good. New emotional space will be freed up for something brighter, more satisfying, fulfilling. Writing this has been a good reminder for me and I hope for you, too.
© 2025. Leslie Charles, Speaker, Author, Funeral-life Celebrant. leslie@lesliecharles.com