One day many years ago, strolling downtown with my bestie, she suddenly blurted, “Men look at me first, but they look at you longer.” Her words threw me. But now, in seeing photos of my younger self, I did have a nice face.
Two decades later, in one of my diversity workshops, while covering the subject of ageism a man asked how old I was (early 50s). I answered. He then described (in detail) signs of aging on my face, neck and hands. It felt like an auction block moment, being shopped by the lowest bidder. Ironically, he was overweight, wheezed when he talked, yet was close to my age. Irony helped me maintain composure.
Can You See Me Now?
In retrospect, I had been naively high stepping along the inevitable moving walkway toward social invisibility. Grudgingly accepting my fate, I christened this period The Freeing Time. Social pressures I once felt had lessened. It was, in truth, a relief. Today, age-related invisibility may annoy or amuse me, depending on my mood. Not being seen can be irritating. But I adore watching young male clerks frantically clamoring to serve the darling young female who just stepped in line behind me.
Facing the Sage Age
I am not a wallflower, disappearing into curtains that match my outfit. I talk to strangers and am prone to speak up or out in public. My face has changed and so have I, but I am still me. Being both older and short, sometimes I am invisible. But I can spice things up with hats, cute clothes when I care, or wild socks and red shoes. I love making faces light up with the unexpected humor I can dole out.
Ageing is inevitable, face it. Take care of yourself, be you on your own terms. Occasionally surprise people just to keep them (and you) sharp. Like a special recipe requiring extra time for the flavors to pop, combine your senses, feelings, and wisdom for a tasty blend of personhood. Delight in it, dish it out, and freely savor the delightfully seasoned self you’ve grown into. You deserve it.
© 2025. Leslie Charles, Speaker, Author, Funeral-life Celebrant. leslie@lesliecharles.com