Most people are in holiday mode right now, but if you are grieving any kind of loss or significant life change, you may be conflicted about celebrating. Here are some thoughts that may help anchor you during this unsettling time.
Try to avoid the agonizing “why me” question. It intensifies your sadness. Loss is a part of life and at some point, each of us must deal with shifts and changes. Sift through your feelings but avoid needless hurt. Be patient, you have a lot to sort out.
Your emotions might be all over the place. When life suddenly changes, so do you. One moment you might feel fine until something triggers a thought, feeling or memory that overwhelms you. It can take a while to regain your balance. Mental swoops like this may be disquieting, but they are completely common. And they fade with time.
You may not feel very social. Be solitary when you need to, interact when it feels right. Evaluate each situation accordingly. Accept invitations with conditions that leave room for last minute canceling. Avoid feeling guilty when you choose not to participate. Chances are, those who truly care about you will understand.
Seek solace in nature. Natural settings can bring relief, calm or feelings of renewal to ease your inner ache. If nature isn’t nearby or weather interferes, visit a local nursery to inhale the scent of earth and enjoy the moisture while strolling past the lovely plants until you are filled.
If you have the strength, try volunteering. Helping others who are facing hardship can get you outside of your sad feelings for a while. There are a lot of people needing a boost this season and a brief bout of volunteering might enrich your spirit.
Take care of yourself. Make sure you eat and get some sleep. Bolster yourself by drawing on your faith or belief system. Consider a “healing” ritual: build an altar, burn a candle, journal, write letters to yourself or someone else that will never be sent, display something meaningful. As grief goes, there will be setbacks and there will be gains. Be kind to yourself. Healing does happen, though slowly; one day at a time.
© Leslie Charles, Speaker, Author, Funeral-life Celebrant. leslie@lesliecharles.com